HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Even curators and gallery owners -- people whose job it is to go to parties and exhibits -- are saying that they'll be lucky if they can catch one-tenth of what's going on at Art Basel (www.artbaselmiamibeach.com) right now.

Here are some pictures from last night's kickoff event, a massive beach party with thousands of people going in and out of shipping-containers-turned-galleries, plus a concert on the beach by Peaches. ("Why won't you shake your dicks? Why won't you shake your tits?" the oversexed -- and frustrated -- singer shouted to the mildly interested crowd, which was either too hip to dance or found her provocative dildo-and-stripper act... well, not that provocative.)









In this week's edition of the New Times, I did my best to help y'all find the best of the best of the Art Basel happenings, but we don't have room to dilly-dally any more, kids. No time for remedial education; let's be blunt. Although Dennis Hopper's showing of Easy Rider promises to be cool and ditto for the "We Are the Sams" performance art project, I'll give you two simple directions: 1) Hit the events listed below and 2) By all means, avoid trying to park at the convention center. It is a surefire way to bring out your Inner Bitch.


Thursday: Opening Night of Scope Art Fair
http://www.scope-art.com/

Saturday: Friends with You's blimp parade featuring huge, blow-up versions of Super Malfi and King Albino:







Then hit the Second Saturday walk in the Wynwood Art District.